a restless evil

when i was a teenager i had a poster on my wall that read, “the more words, the less meaning.”

i’ve been blog dry. perhaps it’s a reflection on my spirit. a bit too dry lately. no one to blame for that but myself. allowing myself a little bitterness in passing thoughts leads to bitterness in deliberate thoughts. and as it says – out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.

reading in proverbs last week, my eyes kept being drawn to the abundance of verses about the mouth and the lips and our words. how much power lies in our words. how much is revealed about our souls by our words. days later i still cant shake the thought that this is something God is trying to change in me.

bah! i hear words and thoughts roll off my toungue that are neither helpful or edifying. i want to change. dont we all. but i dont want to just stop complaining or stop gossiping. simply shutting my lips is not the change i want. i want a change of heart. out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. so when i hear myself whining and sputtering off condescending remarks, i cringe because – ouch – that must be what is lying deep in my heart.

how? i like to consider myself a sweet, loving girl. but the evidence shows pride and hardness of heart. oh Lord. yet again, i see the picture of the woman i want to be, and i know the only way to get there is a long road of prayer and filling myself with the good and true words of the bible.

some of the proverbs that got this started for me:

“the mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but violence overwhelmes the mouth of the wicked.” “Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning” “the mouth of a fool invites ruin” “when words are many, sin is not absent. but he who holds his tongue is wise.” “the lips of the righteous nourish many,” “a man who lacks judgement derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue.”

holding my tongue. now THERE’S a new one. i run my mouth too much. the first thing that comes to mind is what comes out. this has caused trouble more often than not. at the very least, it has caused so much regret.

sometimes in life, i enjoy a sense of strength and maturity. other times i feel completely inadequate and weak, and by His mercy, this is when i grow.

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3 thoughts on “a restless evil

  1. honest post for sure! phil 1:6 “He who started a good work in you will be faithful to complete it” –He is completing it in you (us), Aim! πŸ™‚ That’s a deep one too πŸ™‚
    ps- we’re having a garage sale this weekend at my mom’s!

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