Freewrite

My week flew by with lightening speed.

Back to the school-year rush.  waking up too early and staying up too late to try and get things done.  I haven’t had a chance to blog, even though I’ve been dying to – just for the fun of blogging.

But, my kids got to school every day, we all did our homework, and the house went through several cycles of disaster-area to marvelously clean. 

I already feel like I am not giving my best to my school work though.  I just have to remember that my priorities are different than some students, and I may not be able to study as much.  You all would probably laugh at me if you knew that I am a 4.0 student, probably getting two more A’s this semester, who is feeling guilty for not doing better. I gotta go easier on myself.

This is my biggest struggle, allowing God’s grace to cover me, and accepting it.  I am getting better at it, but until recently, for years, I would lay in bed every night and run down the list of every mistake I had made that day, every nice thing I didn’t do for someone, and every thing I said that sounded stupid. I can’t believe I fell for that. It’s a very depressing thing to do.   When I catch myself starting to do that, I breathe-in my Lord’s goodness and breathe-out the lies.

I have let something go this year.  I can’t put my finger on it.  Part of it is my fear, and my need to control. Whatever it was, since it’s been gone, I can hear God better. I have more peace.  I have grabbed onto something this year.  A desire for uncomfortable truth and boldness.  A longing to fulfill the purposes God has designed me for, and the ability to accept that his calling is at the same time greater and more humble than I first would have let him tell me.

Andrew and I celebrated our ninth wedding anniversary on Thursday, September 11th.  We just finished our year of new beginnings, and since there are nine fruits of the spirit, we are calling this our fruitful year.  We are expecting great growth in the fruits if the spirit in our home this year. 

One day at a time.  One load of laundry at a time.  One chemistry test at a time.  One runny-nosed child at a time.  I’ll take it all one prayer at a time.

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3 thoughts on “Freewrite

  1. You are going to school! That is great. What is your major?

    This time of the year is my favorite because I start evaluating how the year has gone. It evokes a tankful heart for the good things I see God has done and it gives me hope that He and I can figure out the loose ends in the last quarter.

    Happy Anniversary!!!

    This last line you wrote was superb: One day at a time. One load of laundry at a time. one chemistry test at a time. One runny-nosed child at a time. I’ll take it all one prayer at a time.

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