Here goes. Straight from the heart, without pondering phrases or themes. completely and truly un-edited. pure rambling thoughts.
Sometimes I want to blog and have no one read it – i guess tha’s why here’s a private post setting. But then it feels like I’m hiding something, and I dont like that either. i’m all about transparency.
my “t” button on my keyboard is incredibly stubborn. My sentence up there was supposed to say “That’s why There’s..” just cuz I’m not editing, doesn’t mean I dont see or care about my mistakes. hmm.. i could go somewhere with that thought. perhaps later.
I am 28 today. On sunday I was 27. i feel like an infant. still in my twenties, and yet i feel like i’ve seen so much, lived through so much. but i’m still a baby. i am trying to fathom what I will feel like when I am twice my current age. I truly have alwways looked forward to aging. maybe not the creaky knees part, but the living life part, the growing, maturing, learning, loving.
I have not blogged since we moved out of Detroit. tha tpoic could take up a whole post of it’s own. It is enough for now to say that I am in a state of awe at where God has taken us. I pinch myself often to remind myself that it’s real, that I will not wake up in Detroit tomorrow, that I dont have to go home to Detorit tonight.
The road that lead andrew and I to this place of blessing was paved with trials, and at least a couple of ly canyons. Somehow, through the Grace of Our Lord, we pressed on, held eachtoher up, and made it through to his peaceful pasture. But now that I am here, i dont want to lose that desperation for God. I want to stay so ultra dependant on Him. If nothing else, my times of weakness and frailty were times of incredible faih building and growth. Now I am in this place of comfort, and I am aware that comfortable places can lul me into pride or complacency.
Lord help me to seek you like my life depends on it, even when I am not at rock bottom. Because… my life depends on it.