Looking Back

I found myself driving half an hour by myself tonight. It was lovely. Since we live closer to everything now, I spend MUCH less time in the car – which is great, because it frees up my time for other things, not to mention the savings on gas… But it was refreshing tonight to coast down the freeway with my Hillsong United CD blaring, and just let a stream of thoughts and ponderings run their course. It’s amazing how thirty minutes alone in a car is sometimes all I need to see something in a new way, and to hear God’s voice more clearly.

As I was driving South on Telegraph, it felt like I was driving home. And as I neared my old neighborhood, I got a little teary eyed. And then later, heading North, I started thinking about (or maybe God prompted me to think about) a comment I had made earlier that day,and I wondered why I made it. It was a completely normal and harmless comment: “was it a little sad to cut off all that hair?” But still, I knew there was something about this that God wanted me to learn from. And here it is: I can be too focused on the grief and loss of a situation (bear with me here, while there is not all THAT much grief associated with a haircut, I can have that same tone in many situations.. ie. ‘oh are you sad to be done having kids? was it hard to move? etc..) I have a tendency to justify this looking back with a touch of sadness as “just being nostalgic.” And truly, it is not an awful thing to feel these things.

BUT I feel like for me God is wanting me to look strictly ahead. Eyes forward. What is He doing today? What does He want for me tomorrow? It’s time to push on.

Philippians 3:12 “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

Luke 9:62 “Jesus said to him, No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back [to the things behind] is fit for the kingdom of God.”

Genesis 19:24 “Then the LORD rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah—from the LORD out of the heavens. 25 Thus he overthrew those cities and the entire plain, including all those living in the cities—and also the vegetation in the land. 26 But Lot’s wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.”


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