Musings of a Resentful Shaver

Every spring when the weather warms, I have the same conversation with myself.  (I hear talking with yourself is a sign of genius.) It goes something like this:

Now wouldn't they be almost cute if they had HAIR?

“It’s going to be a warm day, I should shave.”

“Or maybe today could be the day you decide to change America.”

“Wah?”

“You know you want to.  Start a hairy revolution.”

And so it goes . . .  

Who said you had to be hairless to be beautiful?   I would like to know who the first woman was who decided that shaving legs and underarms was a good idea.  If I could, I would travel back in time and give her a good shaking.  Her bad idea has been caught by the whole western culture like some nasty communicable disease. I wonder if even the French women shaving their underarms now too?  I hope not – for their sakes.  Shaving wastes time and water, and it’s just not fun. So there.

I’ve asked my husband’s thoughts on this, as I’m sure you’re wondering.  Over our 11 years together he has gone from liking a clean-shaven me, to telling me point-blank that it really doesn’t matter. His indifference is one point in favor.  But it’s not the tipping point.

The tipping point is: could I stand it?  Am I brave enough to be the only American woman (who doesn’t wear dreadlocks and smell of patchouli) who has hairy legs? And the answer is no.  Sadly, I am not. I don’t think I could bear the gawking and whispers.  And so I will continue to pull my Gillette across my flesh, cutting away the hair God put there. 

~ Amy

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One thought on “Musings of a Resentful Shaver

  1. Amy,

    You are an excellent writer! And very Funny! But I did not know you had a darkside~ I know you have had some creative articles and pictures in the past, but this going to the darkside for a picture, I mean, its mean to shave three cats just to make a point!

    Sure you are mad about shaving…I too hate shaving my face. It gets raw and bumpy. But those poor little cats? What did they ever do to you? I have dated many women who have hated, resisted and refused to shave their legs. Many of them had dogs, and I am happy to report they did not shave their dogs. And I have been to France; most of the women their do not shave…and may I say via la diferance! Via la France! People in Paris have a great love for their dogs, proudly they walk their hairy dogs and legs.

    In America, it takes a lot of guts to do what it right for you; when the rest of the society is screaming; “No HAIR! NO HAIR!” I have seen these male models in ads with their chest completely void of hair – “What is wrong with us?” When I grew up, real men had hair on their chest, they grabbed the girls and kissed them and the girls liked it. No, this hairless society of ours in not only emasculating, it is downright unnatural and unhealthy.

    The fact that our society has been corrupted to think that shaving is IMPORTANT, that you should look like some emaciated model on the cover of a magazine, or that you should pay thousands of dollar for diamond that are real Worthless and enslave thousands of people in America and Africa. In my opinion, you should refuse to shave and push the boundaries, and make people sit up and get real. Freedom! Freedom! Via la ME! I just want to be OK with ME! As God intended!

    Human beings are an inconsumable bunch…never quite happy with what God gave them. By the way did I tell you, I am thinking about getting a toupee?

    dad

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