In my recent posts “Iam the Woman at the Well,” and “One Girl’s Story,” I’ve written about my discovery that marriage will not bring ultimate fulfillment. It is a statement true enough, and yet it’s missing something.
The statement deserves more explanation simply because marriage is the most beautiful entity I have ever had the joy of experiencing, and I’d hate to shortchange it.
To be sure, marriage is quite fulfilling in some ways:
When my Love gives me that knowing look, and I don’t have to say a single word in order for him to hear my heart, it feels like home. It is good to be known.
When my Love has had a hard day and I can be the one to just let him say everything he needs to say, and kiss him, and reassure Him of God’s faithfullness, it feels as if I was in the exact place at the exact time for which I was created. It is good to nurture, love and protect each other.
When we’ve had a fight, and a simple embrace and an “I love you” can make it feel as if the fight never happened, it feels as if there may still be some good in this world worth fighting for. It is good to find true forgiveness.
When we sit together on the front porch, just trying to catch our breath after tucking in the kids, finding quiet relaxation while staring up at the mighty oak branches, it feels like a blanket wrapped around my heart. It is good to have comfortable silence.
And late at night, when the world is asleep, and he makes me laugh so hard I cry, it feels as if all the weights of my worries are lifted from my shoulders. It is oh-so-good to laugh together.
These are only some of the beauties of marriage. So why then would I say a marriage is not the place to seek fulfillment? I say this because when a marriage is a place full of expectations, where starving souls grasp selfishly for fulfillment, it quickly transforms from beautiful into ugly and tainted.
It is only when we release our expectations for the other to fulfill us, that we allow them to surprise us in beautiful ways. This is the truth I wish I had grasped as a newlywed. This is the truth that has helped transform my marriage.
Marriage is a wondrous journey, one that I am grateful to be walking.
May our learning, growing and loving never end.