Like a breath of fresh air. That’s what my family is to me. When I am too caught up in the details, and they are able to pull me out of my frenzy and help me see the breathtaking bigger picture of our life. It’s not so bad, really, as I can sometimes make it out to be. One day of frazzled emotions can blur my vision. But Lord, I have been blessed! More than not, my family is life-giving and that is something I will not overlook.
Can we talk worship? And by worship, I mean the sing-song, it’s music time at church worship… Lately I have been feeling a new and deeper sense of comfort in my worship. More okay with doing exactly what comes to me at the time. Yes, sometimes that means dancing with joy or singing loud, but sometimes it means being still and quiet. This is redundant for some of you, like a sermon you’ve heard before. But it has been refreshing for me lately to JUST BE in worship. To NOT always have my hands raised. And sometimes to not even sing. But just to let HIM sing over me…. for a bit…and then to get right back at loving on Him.
Today, in my comfortable worship, we sang “Jesus, my heart must know… I’m pleasing to you.” As we sang, the phrase “I’m pleasing to you” got stuck on repeat in my head, and then turned into God singing to my heart, his child’s heart, “You are pleasing to me.” I didn’t have to break down in tears or throw myself on the floor to feel His presence. I was acutely aware in that moment, just standing still, and silent, that He was madly in love with me, and didn’t see my for my faults and flaws. It was a holy moment.
It is not always easy for me to believe that I am pleasing to God, but today it was undeniable. And not because I am extra holy today, or have been storing up points with the man upstairs, but just because I am HIS. His creation. His child. His daughter. His beloved. His bride. The reason He came to earth and died a gruesome death. Me. I delight in living this life he has chosen for me, and He delights in watching me live it. He delights in my heart. My kind thoughts. My repentance. My meekness. My dependence on him. My joy. I am far from perfect, but we all have parts of us that He delights in…special gifts that he placed there simply because they are a delight to behold. Our brains. Our talent. Our humor…. Oh! I know the Lord loves good humor, because nothing feels more Holy than a deep laugh!
Any-who. I’ve tucked in my kids and I should be rinsing grapes for my daughter end-of-the year brunch. Yet, here I sit in my quiet house, in a dark living room, I’m waiting for my love to come home, and my heart is full… full of anticipation, and maybe even a little sense of wonder. My Lord seems to enjoy surprising me this week. Sweet little gifts from Him that even require something of me – but I am honored because it must mean He thinks He can trust me with it. Oy… this is a whole different post though isn’t it? Also, I’m rambling, and if any of you have made it to the end of this, please pat yourself on the back for me and treat yourself to some chocolate.