The other day I had a momentary vision. I saw myself curling up into a ball, and sinking down into feet of rich soil. And I heard these words in my heart, “unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies…”
Of course the rest of John 12:24 goes: ” it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.”
I feel like I have been going through that dying process for a little while now.
- my desire for comfort
- my desire for recognition
- my alignment to anything except the good news of Jesus
- my right to be right
- my attempts to change others
- my need to be needed
- my right to my own schedule
- my right to keep my problems to myself
I’m letting it all be slayed by something greater.
Not that I have fully reached any of this. It is a slow process, but I am in it and I like it.
My hope is that my old ways will be replaced by a selflessness that shines like a lamp on a stand, and with a love that puts others first, a love that dares to step out with faithful action.
Today I had another momentary vision. I again saw myself as a seed of sorts. And I was churning inside. Growing. And suddenly the seed shell burst open and out shot a living shoot, bright and green.
God and I have been hanging out, and he’s been churning things inside this life of mine, good things, hard things . . . and I feel so much energy building up – enough energy perhaps to branch out of this casing and become a full-grown plant that produces seeds by the dozens.