Pure Gratitude

Pumpkin seeds made me cry tonight.

Or something like that.

Snuggled up on the sofa with my love, watching Netflix, eating pumpkin seeds that we had just roasted . . . I was overwhelmed with gratitude for that moment.

I have been trying to speak my thoughts more lately, the ones that I would normally keep to myself. So I paused the TV and looked at my husband and we talked about how wonderful this fall has been, and how different it has looked from our past couple years.

We are thankful for apple orchards and cider mills, home made apple pies in abundance, the four of us carving our pumpkins together, roasting heaps and heaps of pumpkin seeds – all of this I missed last year due to my school schedule. But these are our rhythms. These traditions are part of what makes us the Ellison family.

Finding these rhythms again feels good. It’s a slow process. The rhythms sometimes look different because life is different for this night shift nurse – I bake apple pies at midnight now because that’s when I find my peak energy.  But it’s happening and I can hardly believe it.

And I look at my husband who weathered it all. He stuck with me when I was of little use to him as a wife and mother. When it seemed I had become just a permanent lump on the sofa buried in nursing books.  Wow I am a blessed woman.

We are a bit battered from the storm that was nursing school. Weary maybe. Hesitant to have hope.  But tonight I had a glimpse that we really are finding a new normal. And it is a good normal. And we can lift up our chins and laugh without fear of the future . . . .

Through every valley and dark night, my Lord watches over me, carrying me to the next resting place. I feel the reassuring weight of His rest pushing on my heart. It is good.

Yes, tonight was good.

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